Habemus Papam - The Party's Over
After two weeks of Popeless meandering, the Catholic Church has installed a new shepherd, Pope Benedict XVI.
Time to clean up the mess.
The Onion (of course) REPORTS:
" 'When I heard the pope was dead, the first thing I thought about, besides how much the great man will be missed, was the big bloody steak I was going to eat on Friday,' said Whitestone. 'When the pope was alive, I never would've thought of flouting the 1917 Pio-Benedictine Code Of Canon Law. But once he was out of the picture, I immediately bore false witness against my neighbor. And then I coveted his wife.' "